Not Everyone Likes Me (or You)

And I'm okay with that.

Let's get one thing out of the way: I'm sincerely a nice person and, as such, do nice things:

• I say "please" and "thank you."

• Being raised below the Mason-Dixon line, I address people I don't know by "ma'am" and "sir."

• Without fail, I ask people how I can help them – and I mean it.

All in all, I care about people and, as I mentioned above, am nice. I'm not an "Eddie Haskell" nice (good luck with that reference if you're below 40); I try to be genuinely nice in everything I do. That doesn't mean I don't have my "prickly" moments – I do. After all, I'm human, which means I am fraught with imperfections. Even so, I'm very comfortable owning that; overall, I'm a nice guy.

Yet, not everyone likes me.

That's something that's not as easy for me to accept because, candidly, I'm hard-wired to be liked. There have been instances where I've had a bad day and lashed out at someone, and that's the lasting impression they have of me. When I think of those – and other – occasions where I wasn't at my best, fully present, or even short with someone, I can understand why they may not care for me.

However, there are other times when people don't like me for unknown reasons – and those are the ones that linger in my mind. I replay conversations, reflect on time spent with those individuals, and dissect every interaction in a vain effort to uncover "the reason." If, through this self-discovery, I can't find what I may have said or done, I'll usually ask the person directly to understand the "why." I need to comprehend the reason(s) for the frosty relationship so I can apologize, or if there's a misunderstanding, I need to at least explain my perspective.

Most of the time, there's at least closure, and I can move on. Sometimes, however, it remains a mystery, which means I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm not for everyone. At first, it was difficult, and I'd allow people and situations to live in my brain rent-free. Over time, I fully embraced that not one person is universally liked - not me, not you, not even Dolly Parton.

Chasing new clients and retaining current ones can feel the same way: sometimes, a client stops buying from you, and there's no dramatic event that causes it. If you come up empty after trying to uncover the reason so you can at least learn from it, it's best to simply move on and realize there's nothing you can do to "fix" it. Just as not every person will like you, not every client will either.

I'm still nice – sometimes to a fault, but that's just who I am. I also am proud of the work we do at brandivate: it's relevant, creative, intentional, and, most of all, effective. Even so, not everyone likes me or will be my client, and I'm okay with that.